Ask Stephani: Am I Addicted To Porn?

By November 17, 2014 Dating, Education, Humor, Love No Comments

Hello,

My name is Stephani, and like any 22 year old woman, I have dabbled in pornography, both on set and on the computer, wink! However, too much of a good thing can cause addictions. Today’s question comes from Desiree, and relates to her porn obsession.

Desiree writes:

“Dear Stephani, I don’t care if masturbation or viewing of pornography is normal, I want to break this habit. I have tried almost everything, but I can’t stop. When I do have the urge, I tend to hold it off for a few days but then I seem to get into some sort of trance and it takes me over. The weird thing is I look at lesbian pornography but I have absolutely no urge to be with a woman. I also suck my thumb, if that provides any insight. Please, I need help!”

Honey, let me tell you, there is nothing wrong with pornography, but if you feel that it is consuming your life, then I am definitely here to help. Based on your tendencies, I will provide you with a five step plan for breaking your porn addiction.

1) Get rid of all internet devices

computer-out-window

Get rid of your computers, your smartphone and anything else that can provide internet access. You need to go cold turkey for at least a month in order to break the habit. I know you are thinking “but I need my computer” to which I say you should have thought of that before you became a sex criminal.

2) Have sex with men

straight

Desiree, clearly you need to have more sex. By fulfilling your sexual desires with a man, you will no longer need to masturbate, and therefore will not need porn as a supplement. And since you are a horny little bitch you will have no problem picking up a new man every night.

3) Have sex with women

lesbian

Desiree, you can tell me all you want that you don’t want to be with women, but since you enjoy lesbian porn so much, you must be a lesbian. Stop fighting the urge, scissor til it hurts. And if your sexual experience with a lesbian is as awful and horrible as you think it is, then you will stop looking at lesbian porn.

4) Star in a porno

Porn_set

Women who star in porno’s are treated awful, especially in movies that are meant to degrade women. If you film a porno, one that is really raunchy, one where the women gets pissed and shit on (literally) while being double penetrated with king kong dildo’s, then you will see how disgusting the porn industry is, and you will be so mentally destroyed that you will never have the urge to view porn again. Unless you like it, then you have a fantastic career in front of you!

5) Suck on a homeless mans thumb

homeless

You said you suck your thumb when you watch porn. Clearly, you have a thumb sucking fetish. Why don’t you go down to the homeless shelter and suck on a guys thumb, not only are you giving back to the community, but you are fulfilling your darkest and most disgusting desire.

Well Desiree, I hope I have helped you, and I look forward to viewing your pornographic video.

Remember girls, if you are addicted to porn, there is no man in the world that will deny you true love.

XOXO,

stephani

Stephani